Pink is my Signature Color

Just diagnosed with diabetes, type 2. More meds just kicked me in the ass landing a ride in an ambulance. The nausea has been really unkind to me along with pain in my chest, headache and intense hotflashes. ER doctor told me this is most likely side effect in a bad way. This experience has scared me pretty bad. My meds will be changed and another follow up on Tuesday. Oh by the way, my markers are good, still cancer free...... Exercise, a new diet is my game plan.

Here it is again, I guess I will always be alittle scared to get the word. This IS my new normal but it's going to be ok.

I don't know why but this week has been really hard for me being in my head and asking that stupid question, why me? I hate being sore, I hate not being able to sleep, I hate feeling nauseous, I hate the look of my boobs, I hate feeling tired and I hate having CANCER..... enough said!

It just occurred to me that when I had my last one, it was before my cancer the same year. Now I am sitting here wondering what if? Last night I had to prepare for this, it rough. I'm starving and have been shirt g my brains out. Been up since 1am. It's now 10 mins before my procedure. It's going to be ok...yes it IS!

It still makes me think "why me?" My new normal is every day pain and being tired. I keep pushing on bit it's always nags me in the back of my mind, so tomorrow I will celebrate in silence my 3 years and pray that my next two will be quiet and cancer free!

On the last few days, I have been thinking about my cancer and why me. It truly makes me sad..enough said.

Oh my pain is with me day and night, 24/7 and each day, I fight my way through it. It seems like yesterday that it all started with a bad reading on my mammogram 2 years ago. I get down on myself and feel like crying. Why me? I guess I will never know that answer but what I do know is that I'm alive and as long as I am breathing, I will continue to fight and try my damnest to not come down on myself. The is what cancer does but I will NOT let it beat me not today, not EVER.... Peace