Pink is my Signature Color

 So much has happened since my visit with Dr Elia, I don’t even know where to start except that I have had my 2nd vaccine for COVID. CDC says that if you have had both shots you should be ok and don’t need a mask. Let’s see, kinda scary out here because that has given the yahoo’s out there to NOT wear. Oh well, I digress….kinda scare to get my tumor marker after 8 years. I still experiencing all over pain due to the chemo medication. If it goes away, I can be pain free. We will see what Dr will say. My mind is all over the place and filled with doubts and fears. If truth be told, the FEAR is real.

Bone density last week, said I was prone, back on med...and I do this. Not to the one I broke before but the opposite foot.

Well this is totally new and different, you might say this is our new normal in my medical check for CANCER. Questions, stay in your car, call to come in (WEAR YOUR MASK), 6 feet distancing, no COFFEE...that’s just getting in the door. Sitting here waiting for Dr. Elia with thoughts. I know I am cancer free, 7 years. Wow what a journey. I have had a couple of falls resulting in PT and a boot. I have always been at risk but it finally happened, not once but twice in a month. Still taking my cancer medication Anazozole. At one point I called Dr Elia that I had enough and wanted to go off the drug. The body pain is so painful 24/7. Weight gain yep...all the side effects. Dr Elia should be coming anytime..... Ok one year check everything good.

Here it is my nine month check with Dr. Elia, I’m a little nervous the last time I talk to her. She said I can stop taking an anrimdex because of the incredible pain I’ve been experiencing for the last seven years.  Today, she said she’s going to reevaluate me and let me know where we stand.  I did do a blood draw to find out where my marker is. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I was reading a book in the lobby about cancer rehabilitation. I’m gonna check more into that and going to ask for a script for a lymphedema sleeve. I don’t know what my next chapter is going to be but I’m positive that it’s going to be OK. I am dedicated and committed in trying to help out any cancer patients survivors to move forward as I continue my personal journey and being healthy.

I had my double mastectomy done. How do I feel about it today? I don’t know. What I do know is that they are gone....A part of me is gone.

This morning the pain has been horrible to bear within the last week. I have been silent but taking pain meds to help.  My diabeties has not been good. It is it so easy for it to get out of control and I NEED to bring it back in with everything else. Right now, I am feeling lost in where to start again. I was told once that I should not be so hard on myself but I have to in order to get past these emotions and pain. Will check in at end of week. Let's me challenge myself to move forward. PAIN IS TO MUCH