Pink is my Signature Color

First day back. Every 3rd Tuesday.  All connected,  anti-nausea,  check. Pain medication check. Still alive.....blessing!

I really, really needed to get back to work. Being at home makes your mind wonder to a dark place. Yep, I was there. Tomorrow,  I start my Herceptin and on May 10th radiation for 5-6 weeks everyday about 30 mins. And hopefully,  I can get these damn drains out of me next week. I am have way thru my treatment.   Please keep the prayers going for me. Thank you Jesus for pulling me out of the depths if hell (yesterday) and my biggest support,  Tim. I love you baby.

Really had sort out my feelings today with the help of family, friends and Jesus. I can't lie, it was a rough day especially for being a beautiful day. Thank you all.

I am so made that I have breast cancer. The shape of my body has changed. I have these doggone drains hanging off me and wont get them removed until next week.  My soul is feeling week again and I can't help it.

Well.....maybe next week. Me and my drains next week....uggggggh!

Sitting here waiting

It has come to me that I can not stop looking at myself in the mirror.  I would say that acceptance is what I am trying to get my head around.  I use to have DDD breasts and sometimes proud of them, now they are gone because of cancer.  I keep telling myself that it is all a dream and that I need to wake up but, when I look in that mirror, I see them gone and tell myself its REAL.  Some days, are good and others are the bad.  Having cancer changes you in so many ways and on different levels, what I know is that it is REAL and your whole life changes.  I keep telling myself, keep pressing forward, stay strong and FIGHT! I know that staying in my faith, keeps me going. I know that there is a reason as to why this is happening to me but only known to Jesus.  One day, it will be revealed.  For now, when I am in front of a mirror, I can only say thank you for keeping me alive!

A cup of coffee, just relaxing thinking about what I want to do, I need to get outside today, I think I will go for a walk. The sun was out yesterday and it felt so good on the face.  I think I will take some pictures today.  Fighting cancer is tough but I have to stay active but dont over do it.  Mom and Dad are still here and and am grateful for having them here.  I am so blessed to have so many friends and family supporting me.  Thank you baby, I Love you. 

Feel good today, I look PG with tubing hanging from me. My chest hurts but not as much as the drains. 

Up and moving slowly. Draining going good, arm hurts because 3 lymph nodes taken out. Its going to be ok...

Today, I feel ok sore with my drains back in, this time only 2 one in the right and one in my left. I have pain meds to keep me going. They took out the expander in my right breast, feels kinda good. My next appointment will be on April 24th. Hopefully, everything will be completely drained so I can go back to work. When your at home re-cooperating strange things go through your mind. Have to relay on Jesus to get me through. Oh, the SUN is out and it's looks great!

At hospital at 5:30am. Went to surgery at 7:00am. Wow I was out in a second, drugs are good, especially my go home drug. The drains hurt like hell but they are draining pretty good. Will have to empty soon. Mom and Dad are here, Mom is sick so its the boys taking care of us. Tim wouldn't let me out of bed except to pee....He is so Nurse Betty, but love him to death. Thank you Jesus for another day and cancer free!

So, went in to see Dr. Holding and because I still have alot of drainage, she is unable to fill my extenders up. Needless to say, I was very upset. So here is the plan:  They will be removing my extender in my right breast, putting in the drains in my right and left side.  This has pushed back my radiation treatments to May but Dr. Holding felt that we need to get the cancer first.  I will still have options. Hum...should I go for the tummy tuck this time?  Will see. I will be having surgery tomorrow morning starting at 5:30am. The acutal surgery will begin at 7:30am. It should take about 1 to 2 hours.  What they are going to do is to put my 2 drains back in and will  be taking my expander out in my left breast. Hopefully they will stop draining by the end of next week.  I will have about 2-3 weeks rest before the radiation will begin.  This will be for 5-6 weeks everyday about 30 mins. There will be some side effects but not as much a...

I have heard so many times that I look so strong and always happy.  Not today!

Well, last night when it started, I was massaging my right side when one of the stitches came out and I drained profusely. It so happened that I had an appointment with Dr. Holding to have my first injection. Unfortunately, the drains were taken out to soon so I will have surgery on Thursday to have drains put back in and the expander taken out on the right side. Once the drainage stops then radiation will begin. I expect to go back to work on the 29th of April. I am so disappointed and in pain. Please keep me in your prayers.

OMG how wonderful to get out of town and see some Sun for one night. We walked and just rested in Branson on a very tight budget but we did. Tomorrow starts appointments again with Radiation 5-6 weeks. I get pumped up tomorrow too maybe some draining,  sore as hell...

Met with my Dr. Elia, Oncologist and she said that I NEED to have Radiology, yuk!.  So I am scheduled to meet with Dr. Thompson  tomorrow at 11:30 to  discuss my schedule ( 5-6 weeks, 5-10mins each session).  Once the scheduling is done, then I can schedule my Herceptin (1 chemo) every third Friday for the rest of the year. I will  most likely have a side effect with the Radiation then the Chemo.Whooo HOOO! But the best news is that I am Cancer Free!!!!  Some time down the road I am looking at getting more involved with Susan  G Koman and with Finding a Cure.  I want to remind anyone that if you have not had your mamagram yet, GET ER DONE!....Keep reading my FB post of new information and upcoming eventt.  Thank you everyone and most of all my GOD!!! Love you all!

Feeling ok!

Time to move around the outside world. Going to mall and get some t-tops to wear. Wush my Sissy was here. I'll get to Dallas soon♥ Love you!

I have to look at things at one day at a time,  Since I had my breast drained it seemed to hurt less. The next uncoming appoinments are with my Oncologist on the 11th and 15th for my first drain,  Its kinda weird not to have any breast to look at.  Talk to you later

Fluid build up in my right breast, and does it hurt. Mom and Dad took me to the hospital. The doc numb me me up and pulled ALOT of fluid from the right and some from my left. All I could think about is why me. Crying too much. I have to keep God close to me because this black girl almost lost it today. I am so grateful for my Mom, Dad, my Ash and most important my darling husband, Tim. I promise to be strong!

At the moment I feel sad and can't stop crying.  I don't know how to feel,  except it hurts and my chest looks ugly.. I pray real hard. And I need my lord bad.