Pink is my Signature Color

Today, my feelings are all over the place.  I am mostly fearful of what will be happening within the next couple of weeks.  I keep looking on the internet for examples of my surgery and what I have been seeing has been scaring me to death. Ok, I got my lecture from my husband and Dr. to STOP looking and just relax.  It might sound so easy but it really is hard to do.  It is amazing how the mind will wonder if you don't keep it occupied.....I keep thinking of the "what if's" Right now I have to put everything in Gods hands and just trust him. I met with Dr. Thompson, my Radiologist and he told me that I have a 86% survival rate. Now a days, doctors don't mix words and just say what they have to say.  He also said that there is no guarantee that my cancer will not come back but the type of cancer I have, makes me very lucky and I caught it early.  Of course, there were tears and I could not contain myself but its the cold hard truth.  ...

I'm sitting in the waiting area and all I see is older people. I guess cancer does not discriminate.  I can't even image being older and going though what I just experienced.  I think about getting my reconstruction done, is it worth it?  I'm still going through with it with perky Ta Ta's and tummy tuck.  So many feelings at the moment to process. Waiting to see Dr. ELia Everthing is checking out great. I have 2 more chemo to go. Cant wait.

This week, I will have my chemo treatment and meet with Dr. Elia.  On Thursday, I meet with Dr. Thompson, my oncology radiologist.  I am very hopeful that my cancer has diminished and I am in remission. I pray to God that this will happen.  September 9th I will be going into surgery for reconstruction. I will get the tummy tuck and smaller breast...yippee! Dr. Elia has given me my 5 year drug that will help keep cancer away from me. Thank you all for keeping in your prayers.

Yeah, I got the fat to make my boobs and get my tummy tuck. This makes me happy ;-)

What's next? KU has a new computer system and it took forever to get me in the system.   They made me late for Dr. Holding. Ugggggg. Got up at 5:30am no food in the belly. BK here we come.

Holy shit Batman she got in on stick! Yes it hurt but she was good!

I am at the hospital for the first of my tests, CTA scan for my stomach. OMG they can't access my port, the RN even used a LARGER needle. So.....the IV Team was called. If my port can't be accessed then the IV goes in my hand......Nooooooo! A simple procedure is going to an hour before my actual 15 scan. This sucks considering I'm scared already. :(

I felt horrible when I came home from work. The pain in my body was excruciating.  I felt like I had blew up in my chest. I just want it to stop. A couple more weeks til surgery.  I just need to hang on. Tomorrow is pre-authorization day, 3 appointments. I just want it OVER and cancer free. Some say I am brave, some say keep fighting. All I can say is ONE DAY AT A TIME. At night before I close my eyes, I say a prayer thanking him for my life, the people I love and strength. Thank you for all my blessings.

What a beautiful morning to walk for the cause. I have to say it was truly emotional for me. I AM a survivor and wss recognized along with others. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man to hold me up when I needed it most. Thank you♥. In a couple of weeks is reconstruction. I still am on herceptin until October. My followup with Dr. Thompson (Radiologist) and Dr. Elia (Oncologist) will be at the end of the month. Hopefully I will have great news! Love

Dammit...thought I was done with the side effects if chemo: Body aches, headache, lack appetite, tiredness, taste is going away again, pain..you name it. I came home last night an I  was freezing. Tim said it was hot in the room...if its not one thing its another. Trying to fight through it....

I really got toasted, my biggest fear. Can't touch it, very sensitive.  Lots of cream with lanacane. So this is what its like to be burned? Hurts like hell....its getting better, starting to peel..yuk! Here is my team. Thank you for taking care of me and the monster that toasted me.