Pink is my Signature Color

Today went better than I expected. My numbers are down (A1C, Sugars, Bad Cholesterol). He said that in August that my numbers then were so high that I could have had a heart attack at any moment. Boy is this sobering. I have to continue what I am doing, and most of all continue on my meds and EXERCISE! Well, guess I better get back into the gym. My check with Dr. Elia was great as well and I am clean from Cancer. What a blessing that I have been given this year. I can honestly say that it has been a difficult road but have to keep pushing and embarrassing my new Normal. 

Always get nervous for my checks with Dr. Elia. I am sure things are good with me. Pain, well still have it, hopefully I can get off my cancer meds that causes it and my weight. It has been almost 5 years since. Seems like yesterday. You know what's weird?  I am in the same room where I was told "you have cancer". I can't even wrap my head around that...all I heard is CANCER....thank God that Tim was with me. I struggle was definitely real and it continues to be my new normal. As hard as it is, facing it head on can be difficult. I am so blessed to have my family and friends for the endless support and prayers.

I told him everything he wanted to hear, I exercise but I quit after 30 days. I have been over indulging in sugars but a weird thing watching my portions. I think therapy is needed😢

Over the weekend, I did alot of thinking and know that going to the gym is the best thing for me. What I need to do is to STAY OUT OF MY HEAD. When I go there, the "what if's", "I can't" always surfaces its nasty head and makes me crazy.  I don't look for sympathy, just understanding that one day I may be UP and the NEXT down.  I have been doing something within the last couple of months, taking an interest in making my faces pretty. Sometimes when I look at it I see "Cancer" and what it has done to me. Just another way to getting past the emotional side of "IT". Let's see how I will do.

For the last 3 months, the pain has been excruciating. Doctor's say exercise or get on a good...... diet bla, bla, bla. I can honestly say that I am fed up and really don't know what else I can do. I don't feel the same, I just DON'T FEEL GOOD.  I say I am going to work out and then I don't go, I say don't think about it but it's there.  I say if I can just feel GOOD just one day.......

This is late, but the count down is on to my 5th year of being a CANCER SURVIVOR. No doubt that I will beat it and will keep moving forward by being positive and the love of my family.